


(Don’t) Leave Me Alone

by Violent_Bulldog



Series: Early Hours Angst [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crushes, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Female Player Character (Hogwarts Mystery), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Rowan Khanna, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Original Player Characters, Other, Promises, Ravenclaw Rowan Khanna, Scars, Self-Harm, Slight Penny Haywood Bashing, Slytherin Player Character - Freeform, Sorry Not Sorry, they're in love but they don’t know it, they’re in fourth year, this was wrote at 3am plz be nice, well they kinda know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_Bulldog/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: You weren’t expecting thisYou weren’t ready for thisYou’re not good at the emotional stuffBut, by Merlin, you’ve got to do something. Because you care. You care all the damn time. And you’re not going to leave her alone, not while she’s like this
Relationships: (All Hinted), Merula Snyde/Original Character(s), Merula Snyde/Original Female Character(s), Merula Snyde/You, Player Character/Merula Snyde
Series: Early Hours Angst [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768336
Kudos: 51





	(Don’t) Leave Me Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings are in the tags, please read them to make sure that this is safe for you to read

You were sitting on your bed, flicking through the pages of your potions book and ignoring the fact that you had an essay due on calming draught to do before the week ended. You weren’t sure where your other dorm mates were, but that wasn’t an issue for you to worry about. The dorm was silent, which allowed you to daydream about Puffskeins and Nifflers but also allowed you to be alerted of anyone entering the dorm. 

You were turning the page of your book when the door swung open. You heard someone’s shaky breathes, which prompted you to turn your head to see who had entered. And there stood Merula Snyde, but not quite how you knew her. Instead of the bold, confident girl that you were all too familiar with, her cheeks were stained with tears and she looked how you felt when you found out that Jacob had gone missing. Before you could say a word, however, she practically ran to her bed and drew the curtains. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, but decided to let it go for now. Merlin knows what she would do to you if you tried to talk to her like this.

You did your best to block out the weak sniffles and choked sobs, but eventually, you couldn’t bear it. You slowly stood from your bed and strolled over to hers, gently knocking on the frame. When she didn’t respond, you weren’t exactly surprised.

”Merula?” You whispered, not wanting to startle her incase she genuinely hadn’t heard your knocking. 

“Go away” Her voice was hoarse, but held very little anger. You wanted to know what could’ve hurt her this much. It actually angered you, because no one should’ve made someone else this upset.

”Look, I don’t know why you’re upset, but if you need or want to talk, I’m here. I know we don’t exactly get on, but still” You sighed. You weren’t really good at the emotional stuff.

She didn’t respond, which wasn’t much of a shock. You sighed once again, before turning to go back to your bed when you heard a quiet whimper. This time, it wasn’t a sad sound. It was a sound of pain. You hesitated for a moment until you heard the sound again and turned back to Merula’s bed, slowly moving the curtains back to see her. And when you did, you couldn’t help but gasp. 

The sleeves of her robe was rolled up, revealing freshly made self-inflicted slices along one wrist as well as older, more scarred cuts on both arms. Small dots of blood were spread on the pale green bedsheets, seemingly coming from the fresh injuries. The razor blade in her other hand was held so tightly that there were smaller cuts on her thumb and index finger, but she didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest. You saw the distant look in her eyes, before they shot up and met yours as she heard you. She yanked down her sleeves, wincing immediately when the fabric rubbed the wounds and dropped the blade, which seemed to vanish into thin air.

”Fuck off!” She yelled at you, but you were frozen in shock. You had so many questions and you needed so many answers, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say them.

”Why?” Was all you managed, your gaze flickering from her eyes, down to her now covered arms, and then back up. You could see fresh tears forming in her eyes and felt your own eyes start to water too.

”Just leave me alone” She whispered, her voice cracking at the end. You shook your head before quickly grabbing your wand and crawling onto her bed, closing the curtains shut behind you. She looked at you, confusion pooling in her eyes.

”Roll up your sleeves. Carefully” You instructed, your voice oddly calm. She hesitated, but when you met her eyes, she obliged. Maybe she saw how serious you were or maybe she saw it as a way to get rid of you quicker, you didn’t care just now. You just wanted to do the right thing.

“Episkey” You whispered, pointing your wand at the cuts on her wrist and her fingers. They started to heal over, but you saw the scars that remained. Merula gasped at the subtle pain the charm caused, causing you to mumble a soft apology as you stared at her wrist while she seemed to look anywhere else.

Once the cuts were healed over, you gently placed your wand beside you and looked up to face her. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, clearly unsure what to say to you.

”Why?” You asked again, a shy kind of curiosity slipping into your voice. She shook her head slowly, a faint, sad smile on her lips.

”You wouldn’t believe me” She whispered, and she seemed so certain of it that it hurt you slightly. 

“Try me” You whispered back, hesitantly taking one of her hands and entwining your fingers together. You felt your cheeks warm slightly, but that was the least of your worries right now. However, a small part of your brain took note that Merula’s cheeks seemed flushed too.

”I-I was talking to Rowan about the potions paper in the hall, cause I heard you two talking about it yesterday and that they had already finished it and I just wanted to make sure that I was doing it right. I don’t really know what happened, but suddenly Penny was there and she was yelling at me about my... my parents and you and how badly I’ve treated people and how I’ll probably end up with my parents in Azkaban an-and-” She trailed off, frantically wiping her eyes with her free hand. You felt a flurry of emotions deep in your chest, but felt your heart break at how deeply Penny’s comment had affected Merula. You squeezed her hand gently, bringing her attention out of her own thoughts and back to you.

”I don’t know what Penny’s problem is, but she’s wrong. You’re not like your parents. And you’re not the same person that you were in first year. You were... kinda a bitch back then, but you were eleven years old. And you were still hurting over your parents being taken away from you and you used your insults and hostility to cope with it. And you still use your snarky comments to deal with things because you’re not sure how else to deal with how you feel. But, I know you and I know, that deep down, there’s a side of you that you had before your parents were taken. I’ve seen it. At Christmas in first year, when I got you the song book and Christmas in second year when we went to stay with the Weasley family. There’s a part of you that other people haven’t seen, but that part is what makes you different from your parents. You couldn’t be like them, even if you tried” You ranted, barely feeling the tears slipping down your cheeks.

When you fell silent, you didn’t even get a chance to look up when Merula wrapped you into a tight hug. You felt your cheeks flush, but wrapped your arms around her and held her just as tightly. 

“You’re still a loser” She whispered into the crook of your neck, chuckling weakly. You felt a small smile tug at your lips.

”Yeah, I know” You murmured back, into her hair. You closed your eyes and stayed like that for a while, feeling the tension draining out of her body. It felt nice, being close to her.

”I want you to promise me something” You said after a while, pulling out of the embrace slowly. You didn’t miss the glimmer of disappointment in her eyes when you did, however. You took her hands into your own, which seemed to remove that glimmer, and looked into her eyes.

”Promise me that if you ever feel like hurting yourself again, or if anyone says anything to you, that you’ll come to me. No matter when, not even if it’s three in the morning and I’m dead asleep. Please” You whispered, determination seeping into your voice. You saw her eyes light up, as if she had a snarky comment to make, before it died down and she simply nodded her head.

”Okay. I will” She whispered back. You squeezed her hands gently, a faint smile on your lips which she mirrored.

”Is this the end of our rivalry?” You quirked after a moment, earning a soft laugh from her and you decided right then and there that you wanted to hear her laugh so much more.

”I guess it does” She replied. You smiled brighter.

”Good. I like spending time with you without us arguing or duelling” You confessed, ignoring the warmth flowing to your cheeks. You saw Merula’s eyes light up again and that small part of your brain took another note on the fact that she was blushing. 

“I like spending time with you too” She whispered and you couldn’t help but smile as you squeezed her hands once again, which caused her to move closer to you and lay her head on your shoulder, keeping one hand connected to yours. You felt calm and you knew that tonight was going to change your life forever.


End file.
